Cheaters and liars seem to be everywhere these days. Public figures and in our private lives. I am sure it starts out as small fabrications or deeds. Perhaps even complimentary; "That color is great on you" or "You don't look like you've gained any weight." For some these statements appear to be second nature. Told to avoid hurting someone's feelings. I believe that lying becomes a building process, small lies become easier to tell, eventually causing no inward turmoil. Eventually lying becomes second nature, justified by saving another's feelings. These liars fail to realize that everyone else can see the color isn't right or the weight gained and may not be concerned about sparing someone's feelings. Now your word and opinion appear shallow and at the very least will be cause for suspicion.
It appears to me that this sets up a cycle whereby the liar begins to actively excuse, or attempt to justify their behavior. If they truly do not understand the very nature of and value of truth they will have no reason to change their interactions with family, friends, and the general public. As liars become known and begin to feel alienated they may enter into lying to gain attention or sympathy in order to regain their position within their circle of society. Eventually the liar becomes entangled in their own web. They forget which illness they told what friend they have this week. Grandma may pass away in January, and then again in June. Eventually this social circle may end up "comparing notes." Casual conversation leads to "Did you hear about..." "Wasn't it a shame..."
As the walls of their world begin closing in on them the may begin to struggle and defend their actions and words. For the most part this effort is to no avail. They become the person who "cries wolf" and sooner or later their recounts of dramatic circumstances garner no attention or reaction from anyone. Sadly, misfortune comes to us all at one point or another, when it does truly befall a liar they will be hard pressed to gain a sympathetic ear from anyone that knows them.
The genesis of a cheater is not quite so clear to me. I personally can not understand the point of cheating, whether in a game or a relationship. If the game isn't fun simply for the sake of playing it, if it is only a satisfying undertaking if you win, what then is the point. If you are not satisfied within a personal relationship, on all levels, why would you continue that relationship. Where is the comfort and satisfaction in seeking out the missing pieces with another? Is there not an ever present fear of having this deceit discovered? How can you ever relax and enjoy time shared with either of your partners? I have left more than one relationship because I discovered that the piece that was missing, no matter how insignificant on it's own, was causing a weakness and eventually a collapse of whatever connection I had felt.
I may hurt your feelings by not giving you the answer you are hoping for, however will also not hurt your feelings by giving you a false answer to further my own agenda. I may make you cry, but you will always know that my shoulder is available to cry on.
I am a loyal friend right up until the bitter end. The end may be at your choosing or mine. People do change, it is in our nature. The circumstances of your life, or mine, may cause a change in thought or feeling that no longer fits comfortably between us. Parting ways does not mean that the prior relationship was not valid up until that point. Cherish the good memories, learn from the ones that hurt or made you sad and continue on your journey, as will I.
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