I do not approach this as an expert in any capacity. The only thing I consider myself to be an expert on it myself, and occasionally I am not sure about that either.
Love Yourself
Loving myself means saying no, and not feeling guilty. Loving myself is enjoying my blessings, and not thinking I am somehow obligated to share them. Loving myself is changing my mind. Loving myself is not giving toxic people unlimited opportunities to "change."
Do Good
This is a difficult rule for me to reconcile with the others. I have determined that doing good does not result in harm to myself. If allowing others wants and needs to come before my own I steadily become less of a person. This in turn interferes with my ability to love myself. If doing good for myself coincidentally benefits another there is nothing detrimental in that effort. If this situation begins to give way to expectation rather than appreciation, I will allow myself to terminate the other's benefit. This again confirms my value to myself and therefore is good.
Always Forgive
Much is said about consequences, karma, revenge etc. As of late I have been accused of an inability to "let go." I do not believe that "letting go" and forgiveness are one in the same. I can and have forgiven the participants in last years horrific events. However I will not allow myself to forget that Guy Michael Curtis beat me so badly that my vision is permanently compromised. I do not dwell on these events, but I have not forgotten them. It is my belief that should I forget it creates the possibility of allowing those circumstances to repeat. I have said from the beginning that if man's justice does not catch up with him, ultimately he will have to answer to God for his actions. I have forgiven, I am not actively seeking retribution.
Harm No One
In this case, no one includes myself. Putting myself in harm's way, no matter how minimal the risk, is a violation of this rule. Inviting someone to dinner when my refrigerator and cupboard are empty is not acceptable. In my past I would not hesitate to do this, and any number of other things for someone in need, or who professed to be in need. I have discovered that I did these things for the sake of "doing unto others." I mistakenly believed that the majority of people lived this way. However, when I found myself in need there was no reciprocation to be found. This in turn created a cloud of disappointment and sadness around me, harmful to my peace of mind. I will never intentionally set out to do things that will bring discomfort to others, no longer will I do things to prevent others from experiencing the consequences of their own choices. If they come to harm as a result of their own poor judgement or immoral choices it is not my responsibility to mitigate that.
Be Positive
I have looked at this rule in many capacities. I am positive that I do not owe anyone anything. I am positive that I need to evaluate each situation that presents itself to determine what is in my best interest. I am positive that I will not allow the circumstances and direction of my life to be determined by another. I am positive that my efforts will eliminate the "weeds" from my garden, and make room for "flowers" to thrive. I am positive that I will never again be physically, mentally or emotionally harmed as a result of allowing another into my personal circle. I am positive that these changes will be difficult for some to understand. I am positive that those who genuinely love me will come to appreciate these changes as they will no longer need to be concerned about my well being. I am positive that those who have nefarious intent will find no cracks to wiggle through.
I love myself enough to be good to myself. I love myself enough to forgive myself for my poor judgement in the past. I love myself enough to not allow others needs and wants to come before my own. I love myself to continue to live in a manner which will positively make me happy, keep me safe, and give me peace.
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